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2 Market the Myth |
From Mary Celeste |
[As Tourists return to their tables, Barkers 1 and 2 (man and wife probably, he with a camera, she selling ballads) descend on their victims. Their Child assists them, ideally having charge of a barrel-organ and an ape. Barker 1 poses Tourists on his barrow in front of Mary Celeste; the Barkers pronounce the ship's name incorrectly, 'Màrie']
Barkers 1 & 2
Roll up, roll up please ladies and gents!
A souvenir for a couple of pence!
Come along aft
of the mystery craft --
feel yourself immortal when you're photographed!
[He indicates Barker 2, exhibiting souvenirs: sheet music, and sailors' caps crudely embellished with the name Dei Gratia. This was the name of the ship whose sailors discovered the empty Mary Celeste adrift. Tourists gather uncertainly]
Tourists {spoken}
What mystery? What mystery craft?
Barkers 1 & 2
Let's look the part, be properly dressed,
look like the Yankees 'oo found the Celeste
lots of different sizes, and all genuine
this is what they wore the day they brought 'er in
We're gonna 'elp you sing a special souvenir song
which is O! so beautifully written!
Though the mystery ship is just a 'undred feet long
we're gonna make 'er bigger than our own SS Great Britain!
[As music winds down to a waltz ballad tempo the Barkers take the photo; ideally the shot they appear to take is already familiar as a production publicity shot]
Barker 1 {shouts}
Ladies and Gentleman, 'elp us to sing The Ballad of Màrie Celeste!
[The Barkers use the souvenir caps to impersonate Dei Gratia crewmen (but they make no attempt to disguise their cockney accents). Some of the Tourists also put on Dei Gratia caps and Barker 1 encourages them to make nautical noises (sails, timbers creaking, seagulls): perhaps using the Barkers' barrow, they impersonate Dei Gratia at sea, catching sight of Mary Celeste]
Barker 2
My schooner and me
were a-crossin' the sea
in November of '72
when a brig we did spy
but she made no reply
when we 'ollered a lively "'alloo!"
My sailors all swore
they 'ad seen 'er before
back in port, next to our Dei Gratia
they 'ad talked to 'er mate
as they loaded the freight
in New York on the eve of departure
Barker 1
I say I say I say, that ship's 'eadin' for Hitaly!
Barker 2
Hitaly? Genoa?
Barker 1
Course I know 'er! She's famous! It's the Màrie Celeste!
[The music takes a calm and serious turn for the refrain]
Barkers 1 & 2
But where in the world were the people?
Whatever got into their 'eads?
Forsakin' all comfort and safety
desertin' their warm little beds?
So 'ark as we sing of 'er 'istory!
to find out the truth is our quest
our ballad will fathom the mystery
of Màrie Celeste
[During the singing of the next two stanzas dim lights come up on the deck of Mary Celeste; Ghosts of the Crew appear as they are mentioned: they must not look comically spectral, yet their appearance must remind us, every time we see them, that they are phantoms]
Barker 1
'er captain had sailed
with 'is wife and 'is child
there were seven crew logged in 'is book:
the first mate, the second,
a look-out, a deck-'and
a cabin-boy, 'elmsman and cook
but ten days 'ad passed
since 'e'd written 'is last
and the log 'ad been left on the shelf
and 'is ship, like a ghost
t'wards the Portuguese coast
covered four 'undred miles by 'erself
[The Tourists join in with the refrain, singing from the music which Barker 2 has handed out. They do not seem to hear the bell of Mary Celeste, which rings, nor the phantom Crew (linking hands, fully lit) who join in in wordless harmony]
Tourists & Barkers
But where in the world were the people?
Whatever entered their minds?
Leaving their flute and harmonium
their books and their letters behind?
Our song will examine their history
and list all the things they possessed
which might help us fathom the mystery
of Màrie Celeste
[The Ballad is long; the Barkers produce or unroll ever more sheets of music as the song progresses. Tourists make no attempt to hide their lack of patience]
Barker 2
For aught that it's worth
she was British by birth
of Canadian build and design
at a dozen years old
she's refurbished and sold
to Americans livin' in Maine
But despite this refit
we found planks that were split:
and 'ow come the deck-rail was cracked,
and the riggin' all tangled,
the binnacle mangled,
yet supper still waitin' intact?
[Middle eight: Crew's Ghosts sing passionately; Crowd on the quay freeze, studying the music]
Crew
Waving goodbye to New York on November the fifth
How could we have guessed
that by Christmas there's people here trying to market the myth
of Mary Celeste?
[Barkers produce more music: Tourists thaw]
Barkers
Theories abound
as to why she was found
with no trace of a captain or crew
and one of the worst
says the vessel was cursed
and 'ow can we prove it untrue?
Ten days sailin' east,
with those poor souls deceased:
tell me, why did they vanish away?
If we only could ask
or take them to task
then what in the world would they say?
[The Ghosts' retort could well be sung out to the Audience as well as to the quayside Crowd]
Crew
Who in the world are these people
who've got nothing better to do
than dream up alternative endings
that trouble the ghosts of her crew?
we've come back to act out this history
by which they are all but obsessed
each one thinks he's fathomed the mystery
of Mary Celeste
[Key-change: Barkers produce more sheets of music, and embark on the real sales-pitch]
Barker 2
Our ballad now tells
of industrial smells
and a rope 'angin' over the stern
there are twelve verses more
full of detail galore
that I've not 'ad a moment to learn
but if you folk are keen
on enigmas marine
it's awash with ingenious ideas
so roll up and buy 'em,
a shillin' a time
a memento you'll treasure for years
[The Tourists gather eagerly to buy copies of the Ballad, enthusiastically improvising their own words to the melody that is by now all-too familiar]
Tourists
Where in the world are the people ...
Oh no-one will ever agree!
Their bodies lie over the ocean?
Their bodies lie under the sea!
[The Queen's Attorney and the Court Herald (accompanied at a distance by Deveau and Wright, sailors from Dei Gratia) imposingly appear, ideally above the Tourists, who lapse guiltily into wordless harmony; unheard by the Tourists, the Ghosts continue the melody]
Crew
We'll act out their versions of history
then maybe they'll leave us at rest
and all understand the fine mystery
of Mary Celeste
[Barker 1 packs up camera, leaves it by Artist, melts into throng; Barkers' Child wheels away barrel-organ; Barker 2, all too aware that her Ballad takes liberties with the truth, continues a cappella, lamely hoping to make a sale before being moved on]
Barker 2
She's been 'ere a while
with 'er future on trial
till the judge lets 'er out of the dock
so while she remains
come and learn the refrains
while there's still lots of copies in stock ...