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1 Plain Sailing |
From Mary Celeste |
[Darkness, storm sound effects; brief flashes of lightning illuminate a front-cloth depicting the receding stern of Mary Celeste in a heavy sea. Tourists take their places downstage. The overture ends with the tolling of the ship's bell, a significant motif in the show. As it rings, the front-cloth is removed, revealing the same ship, now in dock at Gibraltar: she is not lit, but the bell is visible on board, apparently ringing of its own accord]
[Gibraltar, 1872, a sunny mid-December morning, tranquil and complacent: the Band plays at a waterfront café with tables outside and Staff in attendance; an Artist is sketching the Rock, which we see beyond. Victorian Tourists from a pleasure cruise are discovered buying postcards and settling to write them at café tables; they are fashionably dressed, in elegant contrast to the little ship behind them. Fragments of their correspondence are sung in the opening number]
Tourists
I felt I had to write
to send you all my news
things are looking bright
on our Christmas pleasure cruise
prospects pleasing
sun beats down
bet you're really freezing
back in London town
Stopped in Gibraltar now
it's not a swell resort
but foreigners kowtow
seeing it's a British port
Queen Victoria
reigns supreme
makes our sailing story a
kind of happy dream
[At the mention of the Queen they stand; refrain is sung dramatically in traditional 'Chorus' style]
No need to worry
'bout your trouble and strife
come away plain sailing
No need to hurry,
have the time of your life
as the world slips safely by
Wary of stormy weather?
Scared of an angry sky?
All pull together,
it'll be plain sailing
blink of an eye,
and we're home and dry.
[The Tourists sit down again, taken aback by their own exuberance, and return to their postcards, noting details as the quayside comes to life behind them. The quayside starts to fill: Barkers preparing souvenirs, Dockers unloading an unseen ship; Girls chatting to Sailors; Children disporting idly]
Gibraltar pongs a bit
I hate to be so blunt
Still it's nice to sit
at a café on the waterfront
ships departing
crews on leave
girls sweethearting
full of joie de vivre
A Yankee ship unloads
she sails this afternoon
Malta, Crete and Rhodes
Abyssinia some day soon
dos vidanya
au revoir
Rule Britannia
even iechyd da
[At the mention of Britannia they stand; refrain is sung dramatically in traditional 'Chorus' style, to the amusement of most of those who have recently entered. Unamused, however, are a group dressed in mourning: Matilda, elderly mother of the missing Captain of Mary Celeste, Arthur, his son, Priscilla, sister of the missing First Mate, and Agnes, fiancée of the missing Helmsman.]
Don't try to tell me
you'd be safer ashore
Come away plain sailing
Don't try to sell me
all the risks you abhor
and the panic that you feel
Try to be realistic
look at its wide appeal
Every statistic
has us plain sailing
safe and genteel,
on an even keel.
[The Chorus parts at a disturbance behind them. Matilda is shouting to little Arthur: her hysterical recitative, scolding Mary Celeste as if she were a person, makes it clear that she is not 'on an even keel']
Matilda
Murderer! She's the murderer, Arthur!
Mary Celeste! She's the one.
What have you done to this little boy's father?
What have you done to my son?
[Matilda threatens the bow of Mary Celeste with her walking-stick; dock Foreman comes across to reprehend her. Priscilla and Agnes hurry the distressed Matilda away, with Arthur in tow. A Barker is setting up a camera but the drama is not static enough for him to attempt a picture. Tourists excitedly return to their cards, singing
antiphonally]Tourists
You hear some strange reports
(I wouldn't want to gloat)
Suppose her son's been drowned
(I'd really hate to brag)
Guess it takes all sorts
(would you trust a boat)
to make the world go round
(sailing with the US flag?)
Widows fighting
picturesque (so grotesque)
so much more exciting
than the office desk
[Tourists putting their finishing touches to the cards, then getting up to post them. (The letter box could be played by a child). By the end of the number, all cards posted, all Tourists up on their feet, singing]
But soon we'll be leaving
and it's anchors a-weigh
singing Hey! Plain sailing!
Sad to be grieving
on a beautiful day
But we've no need to fear
Time for some final shopping
I'll buy you a souvenir
Nothing can stop us
when we're out plain sailing
wish you were here,
have a good New Year:
wish you were here,
have a good New Year!